Control

I always heard this day would come, I just didn’t know it would happen on a day I was stuck in traffic, on my way to work...of all the times it could have occurred,  I never once thought I would be alone in my car on the highway. It happened fast. All the birds flew out of the trees at once and scattered as the trees swayed inward toward the road and then the burst of energy followed, rolling through causing my car to bounce as if driving over a speed bump and zapping all the power from my car. I watched as each car in front of me slowed and came to a complete stop. I saw this in movies and looked around for the big mushroom cloud that usually happened next, I kept watching for what seemed like forever and never saw anything. I just sat and waited, but what was I waiting for? Help? The end of the world? God? My face to melt off from radiation? I didn’t know so I sat and chewed on my fingernails.

All those apocalyptic movies showing cars bumper to bumper on the interstate, trying to escape, or get somewhere abandoned and burned out, just left there with weeds and rust running rampant, I was going to be one of those, just the thought of being stuck here forever started my heart pumping harder and my breathing quickened. I felt the perspiration pop out in my pits, like I had just ran a mile, but it wasn’t the work out sweat, but the nervous, stinky sweat. I sat there and tried to slow my scattered thoughts. When was the last time I actually prayed? Where was my husband? I need to call him. I picked up my cell phone and was not surprised when there was no service. Did I tell him I loved him before I left, does that even matter now? Where was my daughter? Which class was she in? Was there panic at her school too? Like the panic here, people were starting to get out of their car, should I? Should I get out and then try to find shelter? No, I will sit here and think about this, maybe pray to the powers that be to take away my sin. Could I walk home? This was just awful, what did people do back in the day without cell phones to call and check on people during emergencies? They worried and wrung their hands and fretted. Just like this and then died at an early age from insatiable worrying...and heart attacks. 

People were getting out of their cars, talking in little groups, again just standing around, waiting, I felt safer in my car. I sat. Again with the thoughts, was this happening throughout the state? The country? The world? I just filled the gas tank up, what a waste. I didn’t take anything out for dinner, what did it matter? Would I ever get home again? I was going to be late for work. I hope my dogs are ok. Could they sense anything before it happened? Was this an attack? An act of war or some crazy scientist? Was it aliens or a bungling thief trying to rob a vault somewhere? Was this the end of the world? Despite it being a summer day, I was cold. I shivered.

In the distance I could see the clouds begin to boil up, like a big storm was brewing. The clouds like billowing smoke just building thicker and higher into the sky, they grew higher and higher covering the morning sunlight, was this smoke? No, clouds, the clouds were spreading downwards and outwards touching the ground. I watched as the people outside their cars were enveloped into the clouds, still I was not getting out. I heard a few people yelling and screaming, but I couldn’t make out any words. I chewed again on my fingernails as I watched the fog creep up over the hood of my car. I couldn’t see past it. I didn’t know what was happening. Uncontrollable tears slid down my face, not from sadness but fear. I swallowed hard and tried to control my fear, it was then something tapped on my window. I just closed my eyes and realized I had no control over anything!